A short time ago a very dear friend of mine, along with others and family, started a “Go Fund Me” campaign for us.  My emotions have been all over the place.

I will get the most important part out of the way first.  THANK YOU.  From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU.  I remember once, a friend saying to me “you really need to just learn how to stop feeling badly about the gifts people give you, and learn to just say thank you”.  I have always had trouble being on the receiving end of gifts for some reason.  I feel like “Thank you” isn’t somehow enough.

I know how I feel when I give a gift, like I can’t wait to see the slightest glimmer of a smile.  Like that sincerely is the biggest gift of all, it feels so good.  So it makes sense that “Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness, thoughts, and prayers” is the best place to start.

Nobody wants to be in a position to ask for help.  Ever.

When we talked to the Tom Baker Centre about any housing placements they have, and what kinds of subsidies they offer (we ruled out living “with” anyone because really, as much as I am an extrovert, and would LOVE to be surrounded by people every day, it was recommended that we not stay with anyone because of my weak immune system post transplant) one of the first things I read was “please attempt to fundraise and get support from friends and family as much as possible first.”  Ouch.

ASK friends and family for help??

Where do I even start?  How can I possibly??  What would I say??  My husband has a great job, he works hard, we don’t throw away money, we should have this right?  The thought made both my husband and I very uncomfortable, maybe uncomfortable isn’t even the right word, we honestly just didn’t even think we could.

Well, it turns out I didn’t even have to.  You see, I am surrounded by people who know us, and love us, and sometimes when you are really forced to “let go and let God”, you are reminded of how incredible the people around you really are.  When I was approached about the “Go Fund Me” campaign, I didn’t know what to say, and asked for some time to think about it.  In that time, I had gentle reminders from these friends and family that there are people who want to help but don’t know how when I don’t ask.  I was also reminded that if my compassion does not include myself, it is not complete, AND that I need Shaye and I to be able to focus on just getting through this and coming out the other end a new me.

I am reminded again that I am surrounded by love and compassion everywhere I look, and I am so grateful. We are so very blessed.

-Trish xo