I can picture myself this way for the last few weeks.  Like I was in a dark tunnel somehow but yet, entirely wrapped up in love and support of those around me.  Were there moments of fear? Of course there were, but they were fleeting, because someone would swoop in and make me talk about them, then that person would tell me things just couldn’t happen that way, and I believed them. I think I needed to.  I also have to admit that there were many times I lost hope.  It’s hard to really believe something will be different when it has been another way for just so long.

Hope is back.  To stay.  How silly to have ever let hope, faith, etc get away from me.

Guess what??  Dr Chaudry is expecting we can take the next step (out of hospital, but clinic patient still going in twice a week, then once) NEXT WEEK.  He says that is super fast, and not to get too worked up, but I told him that’s how we roll.  Christi and I have always been overachievers.

Here I was, sitting here thinking WOW. I am on 10mg of prednisone, and my head doesn’t feel like it’s going to blow off.  My lungs are clearer that they should be.  Wow.

I shared this with Dr.Chaudry and his answer was “well, you just needed a simple little Stem Cell transplant in the middle there somewhere.”  That’s it!  I am feeling better, and for the first time ever, I know it’s a direct result of this really hard journey we’ve been on.  A result of feeling wrapped in all that love,  the result of this amazing medical team.

Do we have challenges ahead?  Sure we do, my body is building a new immune system.  I can’t fight a common cold right now.  My hair is falling out like crazy, and it’s super itchy.  My mouth sores are still raging.  But those little words are much stronger than any challenge, and they are back.  HOPE.  FAITH.

Peace & Love

Trish xo

Just when I think it can’t be possibly be as bad as the day before, wham, I am hit with a reality. Not only CAN it be, but it is.  The thing about entering into this process and going through the chemotherapy and radiation involved in a  Stem Cell transplant is it all builds on the day before.  You really have no idea how quickly your body will dump those poisons.

I thought I was over the hump pain-wise, then I had a last dose of methotrexate yesterday, they tell me that will likely add 2 more days to my mouth pain.  It has.  I wakened today with sores and difficulty swallowing.

That’s the bad news.  And easy trade for the good news!!!

Dr Chaudry (transplant Dr and program head of the BMT program) did a happy dance!  He said it had to do with Neutrophils.  This is the first sign they see that the transplant is working.  He went on to explain this is the first step necessary in seeing success in the transplant.

Dr. Chaudry also explained that along with this, I may feel exhaustion because my body is working on  building an immune system.

Yup, I’m feeling it.  I just want to sleep all the time!

So, I’m off to help with the FIGHT…back to bed.

Goodnight All

Peace & Love,

Trish

This is Trish’s friend, Debbie. I arrived yesterday and it was SO GOOD to see her. She is having a rough weekend. She has sores/ulcers in her mouth and they are causing her tremendous pain. She has been unable to eat for 3 days now. She is currently getting a blood transfusion as her hemoglobin and platelets are low. Her white blood cell count is at 0.1 showing that her immune system is non existent at the moment. She is still getting chemo as well as antibiotics. The doctor said this would be a hard weekend. Because of her low immune system she is in isolation and therefore at this time visitors are discouraged. We will update when visitors are welcome. 

As I sit here Trish was able to have a sip of milkshake and got her blood pressure meds down as well as a few others. Good job, Trish. Baby steps. 

She is on constant morphine and also has a pain pump she can press every 6 minutes as needed. 

Thank you for your continued prayers and well wishes. 

it hasn’t been a very eventful 2 days.  Everything is going as it should be which means my White Cells, Hemogobin, Platelets continue to drop.  They do it all in a very controlled manor so that my body has the best chance to grab on to Christi’s Stem Cells, and minimize Graft vs. Host disease.  They are talking possible blood transfusions too, which sounds somewhat counter productive to the dropping levels, but again it is such a balance that they may need to resort to that.

They are taking about starting me on a pain pump this evening or in the morning because of the mouth sores and esophagitis.  Who knew mouth sores could be so painful??  They do, I guess it’s fairly standard.  The chemo is still kicking my butt, but today I managed 2 loops around the unit.  Most of my meds are IV now because I can’t swallow, and even though the IV pole is on wheels, it still takes more energy to lug it around! So for today, I’m happy with my 2 loops.

Peace & Love,

Trish xo

The 2 days post transplant, I am told, supposed to be our best.  And yet, I have zero energy, I am sleeping all the time, and today, was especially rough.  My blood counts are dropping quickly, and the Radiation and Chemo are catching up to me.  The Dr says it should all start to turn around in about 10days. 

I want to tell you all how much your love and prayer, messages, support, go fund me donations…just everything, has meant to us all.  It’s hard to see that we are still at the very beginning of this journey, but I have no idea how we could be doing it without the enormous community behind us cheering us on.

Peace & Love,

Trish xo

“You’re off to great places, Today is your Day.  Your Mountain is waiting, so get on your way!” -Dr Seuss 

I can feel it.  I can see the light at the end of this incredibly long tunnel. I can feel the earth crunching beneath my feet, and the cool breeze in the morning.  I can see the weddings of my babies, I can see them growing into the most amazing unstoppable adults.  I can see myself surrounded by the love that is everywhere. Around me.  The love I deserve.

I don’t have to look far either.  Pieces of this blanket were created by my family flown In from all over the world. Each with a private message. 

Thanks to everyone for the many Many wellwishers, the Facebook messages, texts and phone calls.  And obviously, thank you to my sister for giving me these little beauties…

  Here we go…

Today started out (Day-2) in a fairly good place.  Still receiving I’v antibiotics, and I knew I’d be getting hit with 2 chemos and the AGT (AGT is a T–Cell annihilater they grow in bunnies..sounds easy enough right?  How bad can bunny juice be?)

Uh…BAM..BAD…OUCH!  I spent most of the day with my eyes closed, soaked the bed on numerous occasion (sweat) and lost all concept of time.

Tomorrow I get the “full dose” of AGT, Chemo, and 2 rounds of full body radiation. 

On a positive note (or 2) I was delivered the sweetest patchwork quilt made by my family to wrap me in love.

AND THE BEST NEWS OF ALL??  Christi’s “count” needs to be 20 or better to go ahead, and she was at 36 today!!!  She’s rockin that end.

Back to sleep, I have a wee war to wage tomorrow.

❤️-Trish xo

ok, no seriously, it’s day minus 3.  I am losing track.  My head is getting heavy, I’m super tired, and getting a wee bit nauseated.  It just comes in waves, and they are doing a great job of managing it, but it is there.  

Yesterday I began receiving IV antibiotics to fight anything I might have hiding in my body (they know my sinuses are full of bugs they have to treat, and keep mentioning a “common hospital” bug too.) Unfortunately this means I am basically stuck here overnight now because I get the antibiotic bags every 6 hours. 

Christi will be arriving sometime late this evening.  I am really starting to feel like I’m going down, so it’ll be good to have her and Matt here as extra hands to help with keeping Caykie busy.

I have a feeling these updates are going to be getting shorter if at all in the next bit.

Thanks again for the overwhelming love and support,

Peace & Love

Trish xo